Title, or something

I strongly desire to alter my perception in some means. Alcohol, weed, wish I still had clonazepam to shut my brain up and make me feel happy for a minute.

Alcohol: in the fridge downstairs, wines that have been sitting there for long enough they are certainly just vinegar. I tried and failed to uncork one, broke some of the glass, decided to just not do that and put it back for now. I’ll go dump it at some point. I’m certain it’s gone.

Alcohol would utterly wreck my body’s interaction with my SSRI, and I’ve been depressed so that would just compound issues.

Weed: tons, all over the place. Could go the high route or the calming route.

Weed also interacts poorly with my SSRI, and I have not partaken in anything for about a year now, after experiencing serotonin toxicity that may or may not have to do with CBD use last year. Better safe.

Clonazepam: we’re just not doing this anymore. That’s fine. Would help me shut my brain off to sleep a little better tonight. Would be the best option, really. But slight increase of SSRI during premenstrual status has done a really good number on my residual anxiety and depression, and my sleeping…has been good. Not perfect, still experiencing altered rhythms, but overall the quality of my sleep makes me feel very good.

Exhausting myself seems like a good option. Wish I could find something to do physically but it is late and I am tired. Ah well.

Sit here and figure out if I’m going to do something utterly stupid or not. Probably not. Drink some water, that’s the real dangerous mind-altering substance right there. I could make a super spicy sandwich to feel things, and then also drink water. Then sleep.